I said it because... Because I hate knowing so much happened when we could have—when we would have helped. But just because you did that doesn't...

[he has to pause, drawing in a shaky breath. it's hard to have this conversation through tears, especially when stahn himself is overwhelmed and completely unsure of how to put any of this into words.]

It doesn't mean I didn't make mistakes too... that I don't make them. You should have because we're friends, because... I wanted to be able to help you. Not because I'm better or make better choices!