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[ She wasn't quite at her usual level of cheer-- no, this was probably the most worn out she'd felt, on a level different from work-induced exhaustion. But staying indoors did no good, so she seeks the outdoors now, on a brisk walk that still does nothing to lighten the pensive wistfulness on her face.

She may, actually, be so lost in troubled thoughts that she's failing to recognize any familiar faces immediately, in the event that someone else may be out and about at this moment.

[initially, stahn's not paying all that much attention either. he's only passing through on his way back to his apartment after stopping at a convenience store simply because he was in the mood for a snack.

his eyes just happen to catch otome in passing because he's a familiar face, and he motions to give her a friendly wave... only to be met with nothing. she looks distracted, and... maybe something else too. but it's difficult to tell when she passes him by so quickly. yeah, that's not normal, and stahn knows it. so he plants his feet in the ground after turning on his heels and calls back to her.]

Hey, Otome! [he'll be more delicate about things once he's got her attention, but he can't tell for sure if something's actually wrong from that alone.]

[ She really hadn't taken notice of him-- and when he calls out to her, she stumbles in surprise. Just a quick step, nothing too alarming, thankfully, but then she's glancing over her shoulder.

... Oh. For just a few seconds, she looks dismayed - how had she missed seeing him? - but then her expression softens into a faint smile. ]

Hello, Stahn.

[nothing too alarming is still alarming, at least to stahn. something's definitely not right here, and the way his expression shifts probably makes it clear enough that he's noticed.]

...Are you okay? [smile or no smile, it really doesn't seem like she is.]

... [ It's never an easy task, deciding how much one should say. Because while saying yes would be a lie, saying no would just worry him, and that's never really something she wants to put any of her friends through.

After a few more indecisive seconds, she sighs and wraps her fingers around her other arm. ]

I'm not hurt or anything... I just went out to clear my mind.

[this is stahn though, so even this much will still cause him to worry.

which likely also shows, especially as it leaves stahn at a loss for what to do. on one hand, he wants to support her if she needs it. on the other... he doesn't want to pry. it's a tough line that he doesn't want to cross.]

I can leave you alone, if that's what you need. [but he'd feel a lot better if that didn't end up being the case. so... he forces a small smile and holds up the small plastic bags.]

Or we can split these rice balls.

[ ... She can tell why Leon and Stahn are friends, when Stahn himself seems to do everything in his power to get the point across that he cares.

She'd hesitate, if it hadn't been Stahn... but she'd wanted to talk to him anyway, hadn't she? Maybe this was just meant to happen, if she believed in fate anymore (but she doesn't). ]

If you don't mind sharing your food...

[that response earns otome a bit of a wider smile—one that's relieved. he's glad that she's not just trying to push him away.]

We can go somewhere quiet, or just walk. They were just an afternoon snack, anyway. [truth be told, he probably bought a few more than he needs anyway, in case leon was hungry when he got back. but if he's not going right to the apartment, it shouldn't matter much.]

If you know of a quiet spot, I'm all for it. I'll try not to keep you too long.

[ He'd been headed back, after all. He probably still has things to do. ]

It's fine. I wasn't really busy or anything.

[he flashes a grin—he's always got time for his friends anyway.] I think I know a good place. Let's go!

All right!

[ Impromptu journey, sure why not-- she'll tag along. ]

[if this can help her feel even marginally better, it's worthwhile to him.

it's not a very long walk though, just to the outer area of ceres gardens. it's not perfect, and there's still some hustle and bustle, but there are definitely pockets of quiet areas under the trees where there aren't a lot of people looming.

it's an ideal location to him, since it's really the only place with any sort of nature. it reminds him of a few places, but he's always been more of a country boy than a city-slicker, so it's much more his "way" to just find a place like this.]

I like to come here a lot when things get loud.

You're not fond of the noise? [ He always seemed so energetic and enthusiastic... but then again, there was a purity to Stahn, almost like a simplicity that a lot of people back home simply didn't have.

All the same, it's a good place he's picked, and Otome takes the time to breathe it in, before she nods to herself. ]

It's perfect, though.

No, I don't mind it most of the time. [he motions for her to sit before he does the very same—but he'll at least expand on that explanation while he does so.]

It's a lot bigger and louder than the cities from my world. And the town I grew up in is quieter than even those! So... sometimes I just like to enjoy it here. [it's not the same as the countryside, but it's the closest thing to it.

he misses it a lot; he misses so much about his world and his home that he has to take these small measures to keep his head on straight sometimes.]

I understand... I was raised in a city, but it's nice to have places like this just to have some time and peace to yourself.

[ It helps center thoughts, which she really could use. ]

Yeah. [he nods. it's a lot like that, but maybe even more so since a kid who used to go outside and nap against his sheep.

(jonathan's a bro, for a sheep, okay...)]

I guess it's not the same if I'm here, but maybe you can get something like that now too. [he's still not sure what's up with her, but he wants her to feel better.]

No, it's just as well. There was something I wanted to say you, too.

[ So it really did work out surprisingly well, even if she hadn't expected to see him so soon. ]

...To me?

[that was unexpected.]

Yes.

... I actually had a talk with Leon the other day.

You did?

[he didn't hear about it from leon (naturally), so he's surprised. and... maybe a bit concerned about what that means right now. leon didn't do something to upset her, did he?

(he hopes not, because he knows that leon cares about otome a lot.)]

[ She's pretty sure he tried to at least upset her away from caring, which in itself is upsetting... but no, she doesn't blame Leon in the slightest. Things have progressed, she's sure of it. Even if he'd left looking distraught and she'd spent the night worn and exhausted. ]

I... am not as kind as he thinks I am. Not if he can't admit the same about himself.

[ It's not explaining much, she knows, but she still doesn't know how to word things... and what she can even say. ]

Otome...

[he says it quietly, and it comes with a mix of being both puzzled and worried. he was right (and not in a way he's happy about)... something had happened. and whatever leon said or did, it ultimately upset her.

but what exactly doesn't mean? the way she worded that leaves him feeling pretty confused.]

I'm... not sure I get what you mean...

[ Otome's quiet for a long moment. She's not comfortable stating all of what Leon told her, even if Stahn has to know what happened.

But he'll probably be able to guess part of the conversation with what she does explain. ]

To put it as simply as I can, I've turned against my friends before. I've betrayed people who trusted me.

[ Simply, indeed. ]

We both learned more about each other than we expected.

[there's a long silence as stahn processes what otome is telling him. she betrayed her friends.

if she's saying that, then she must know... what leon did. he's not sure how or why that would come up (though even stahn could hazard a guess, much as he doesn't want to), but that has to be it. there's a quiet hitch to his breath, both because of the fact that leon would have said that, and because otome had apparently done the same.

but the shock is something that doesn't deter stahn. there's a lot he doesn't know about otome; that much is clear based on being told this much alone. but he also knows that she's a kind and caring person, and even if she's betrayed her friends—he couldn't even fathom thinking any less of her. she's been a good help and influence on his life already, despite how briefly they've known each other.

she's a treasured friend.]

It must have been hard for you... [he says, after a breath.] To make that choice. You must have suffered a lot on your own, too.

[his voice is quiet, and it's gentle. he can't call her stupid for it. he can't say she was making mistakes, or that she shouldn't have bore whatever burdens that led her to that choice on her own. he can't, because unlike with leon, he doesn't know what happened with otome.

but what stahn does know is the fact that her expression now, and how she looked when they first bumped into each other shows enough—she's struggling. she's hurting. she's been through it a lot, and knowing her, she's probably doing this all alone.]

[ Had it been hard?

No, she thinks, not entirely. Not as hard as it should have been, the first time when the inability to listen to everyone's opinions had led to the agreement to fight trusted companions and allies in the hopes that one ideal would win out over the other.

Even now, thinking about being on opposing sides when they'd all fought the same enemies before-- it makes her throat ache.

The second choice, turning against JP's to side with those same friends because that was what her conscience insisted was stronger... that she doesn't regret. As much as she had hated to hurt the people she'd worked with... that had been necessary. ]

Everything I've gone through... is nothing compared to what everyone else has dealt with.

[ Even if her world didn't remember most of it. Even if Koharu would never remember, or even suspect that her cousin was once her mother. But the others... Kogami, forcibly cutting ties with his own trusted friends, to bring justice to a man who stood outside the law. Trowa and Heero, child soldiers. Stahn and Leon, still so young, but who could plead and scream at each other with such raw pain and desperation that she doubted she'd ever forget what had happened in her room.

Leon, the way he'd been, with his hair hiding his expression, how-- ]

And this isn't really about me. Leon, despite everything he's told me... I know he had his reasons. And I wanted to thank you, Stahn... for believing in him.

[ Because Leon... had needed something like that, hadn't he? ]

action; a day or two after the talk with Leon

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