[It's really only a matter of time before something goes wrong when they live together. Leon's aware of the angry, bristling black cat following him around, but he can't touch it or get rid of it, so for now his only option is to ignore it. Which he does, with great prejudice.
It's one of those rare days when they both have the day off and neither of them has to be anywhere; because of that, Leon makes breakfast. Stahn's appetite is enormous even when Leon's isn't, and honestly? Leon wouldn't mind a good breakfast either.
So his focus is on the french toast he's making (promised to be a relatively sweet breakfast, which he considers perfectly acceptable), ignoring the cat for now.]
[stahn... on the other hand, hasn't even realized the presence of his own fox. he was awoken by the scent of the french toast cooking, the cinnamon aroma wafting into his room...
naturally, he's not thinking much of anything when he shuffles out of the room and into the kitchen with eyes barely open, hair disheveled, and donning only a pair of sweatpants.]
Mm... smells good... [he says tiredly, letting out a loud yawn. oops.]
[Leon's still mostly focused on the french toast, honestly--this is important. He only vaguely turns his attention to Stahn eventually, and then it's just to point towards the table with his spatula. (How domestic.)]
Sit. It is nearly finished and I--
[.. Pause.
Consider.
Backtrack.
Wait.]
... What do you think you're doing? Put a shirt on!
Thankfully (???) that's when Leon's angry cat gets tired of the fuss and muss and flings itself away as cats tend to do--straight through Stahn. There's nothing it does...aside from the memory, which Stahn will now have the pleasure of experiencing for himself.
The dubious pleasure, anyway.
Leon entering the manor isn't a strange image in the least, but the level of peace and relaxed nature to his posture is definitely something a little different from normal--especially from how he's been lately. But nonetheless, that's how he is; he looks content, which is absolutely not meant to last. Because it doesn't take him long to realize that it's too quiet, and that someone is missing.
Aside from a tentative, "Marian?" though, he stays calm enough, wandering through, looking for her--so it's probably not a surprise that when he enters his room, and encounters black robed figures instead, his first move is to draw Chaltier, eyes narrowing but still not particularly panicked. Even if they had invaded his home, he still seemed confident enough... until Hugo speaks, and it's clear it's him. It's obvious from the look on Leon's face as well, from the way he puts away Chaltier immediately, blinking.
Which is a mistake, really.
It's Stahn's chance to see now how it all began, how the downward spiral began, but the most significant part of all is that when Hugo demands that Leon help him--
Immediately, Leon scoffs, his typical belligerence coming into play with a simple, straightforward, and clear, "I refuse."
And even after Hugo reacts with violence, even as Leon hits the door and then picks himself up off the floor, wiping at his mouth with a sleeve, expression closed off and bitter, his response is the same, an unshakeable, "I refuse."
It's only when Marian enters the conversation, when Hugo makes it clear that she's his hostage, and that Leon's only got one choice unless he'd like to see her dead that the panic finally shows on his face, and it's obvious immediately that he was utterly lost in that moment--
And then back in their living room, the french toast hits the floor. Not because Leon saw the memory too (he didn't), but because the sudden vertigo and nausea struck at the worst time, and Leon has to grasp for the counter with both hands, paling and queasy-looking.
[it's an overwhelming sight. of course, stahn recognizes the manor. but he isn't sure what he's seeing at first, like the memory is being forced into his mind as if it were his own.
innocuous enough (if not weirdly invasive) but leon looking for marian isn't strange, right? but then he sees the darkened bedroom and the black cloaks, and stahn is even more frozen than before. those cloaks. they were the ones the oberon managers wore to conceal their identities. leon making that refusal...
and the way hugo hits him. the way he mentions marian—stahn knows what's happening here. he realizes it, he knows that leon was refusing to betray them, and hugo took measure to ensure his compliance by putting marian's safety on the line.
when the memory fades out, stahn is shaking too, and his eyes are filled with tears. he knows; he knows that was the moment that changed leon's fate. he knows that was when leon ultimately decided to betray seinegald and them, when he decided not to rely on his friends for the sake of trying to save marian himself.]
Le... Leo... [he can barely choke out leon's name. he's too stunned and upset by the weight of that memory. why? why was he seeing that? why... that was leon's memory and...
—it takes him a solid minute to realize that leon himself is unsteady, but as he realizes that, he's rushing to leon's side—probabl a bad thing to do when there's a plate on the floor and french toast there with it, but he doesn't pay a shred of attention to what he's stepping in.]
Leon!! Are you okay?! Leon... [it probably doesn't help that the wash of emotions over him is influencing this, but his heart feels like it's in his stomach, and yet his stomach feels like it's in his throat. trying to ask if leon's okay when he's a mess himself is probably not the best way to approach this but what can he do? leon looks like he's about to collapse.
...though stahn is trembling when he reaches out for leon's arm.
this is all bad news, he's not even paying attention to boundaries because he's so worried and overcome all in the same breath.]
[THERE GOES THE FRENCH TOAST, trod under Stahn's feet. Brave french toast, we'll remember you well--
But Leon is still clutching to the counter, shaking his head and swallowing, trying so hard to try to get his protesting stomach under control and shaking away the vertigo. It's difficult, though; it doesn't want to go away, and Leon doesn't even know where it's coming from.
He does look up blearily when Stahn grabs his arm, but he doesn't understand where the panic comes from. Sure, he's feeling a little shaky, but that's not reason enough for Stahn to look so... distraught.
[stahn only asks that again, because he's still not sure how to process what he just saw. he has no idea what's going on, or why leon looks so sick and pale...
didn't he see it? whatever stahn just saw—that memory. he's only slightly less frantic because leon responds close to how he normally would but... stahn is shaken, and visibly so. he looks and feels distraught having witnessed that and he just...
doesn't really know what to do, honestly. his hand is still trembling—maybe it won't be so surprising when he actually reveals that he witnessed such a sad, pivotal moment.]
[That answer is snapped out immediately, even if really, he's not; he's still unsteady on his feet, swaying a little, and it's a little tough for him to focus.
But... at the very least, he remains upright and straight through sheer willpower, and he...doesn't really understand why Stahn is so distressed even now. He hasn't encountered the memories enough to have made a connection, since this is the very first time...]
... What is wrong with you? You are standing there with an idiotic slackjawed expression.
[leon doesn't look fine, and he doesn't really sound fine, either. but stahn himself is too shaken to question it further, especially not when leon is asking him questions.]
[yep, he sure is having a hard time using his words right now. his hand will finally drop from leon's arm, but he doesn't move otherwise.]
I saw... It was your room, in Seinegald. Hugo, and the others... Baruk, Rembrandt... Ilene...
[it's hard for stahn to speak, because it honestly chokes him up to even think about.] He—you, and then you, and then Marian...
[there are just so many words he can't say. he can't say that leon was hit to brutally for leon for himself. he can't say how fiercely he say leon refusing to betray them. he can't say how they held marian over his head until he conceded.
he can't do it, but even recalling it makes stahn feel weak enough to crouch down while he catches his breath. he has no idea why he saw any of that, but he's not okay with it in the least.]
As Stahn speaks, there's a cold dread that sweeps over Leon. There's no way Stahn could have known about any of that--not unless he'd really seen it himself. Stahn...how did that...
He stares at him, and suddenly, he feels the almost pathetic need to flee.]
[if leon were to flee now, there'd be a good chance stahn wouldn't be able to properly chase after him.
hearing leon respond like that only confirms what he's been thinking—it's a memory. it's leon's memory, and it's something that stahn is being forced to see even though he was clearly never meant to know of it.
it's invasive. it's so invasive, because as much as he wants leon to be open and honest with him, he would never force out painful memories, especially not ones that had to do with marian or what he did back then. he doesn't want to pry into leon's memories this way.
they hurt.
they hurt stahn too, because they remind him so much of how he couldn't help, and how leon didn't rely on them until it was too late.]
I don't.... I don't know. [he chokes out the words, shaking his head and squeezing his eyes closed. he doesn't know how or why he saw it, but he did. he should apologize, but it's hard to say anything at all.]
Stahn didn't try to pry open his memories. Stahn wouldn't do that. It was invasive for both of them, and Leon... Leon knows exactly what Stahn saw.
He glances away, and he can't help but feel a little sick to his stomach and guilty. It was better when Stahn knew nothing of the situation. But seeing him like that... his tone is dull, and flat.]
... I suppose you have seen how pathetic I was, then.
[When it came down to it.
That's what it all was. He was pathetic, and he couldn't do a damn thing.]
[that's not what stahn thinks at all. if anything, it's should be clear enough that stahn is hurting just from seeing it; he still hasn't found it in him to stand or even try to look up at leon. his eyes are trained on the floor, and after a moment, he'll go from crouching to completely on his knees.]
I don't think that at all. I... I would never think that.
[and after a brief pause, he says much more quietly (and with much less steady a voice):] I'm sorry.
[Don't apologize. Don't look so broken up over it like that. Don't... because Leon doesn't know how to handle it either. He's doing his best here, but he's off-balanced and upset too, and he has to look away.
Ah... the stove is still on.
Vaguely, fumblingly, he moves to turn it off.]
What you saw... clearly you saw what happened. In that case, there's no denying it. [He was pathetic.]
It happened, but I... still don't think that. And... I'm still sorry.
[he doesn't care if leon isn't looking for apologies, because this still needs to be said, however hard it is for stahn to get these words out without losing his composure over it.]
I know it's not something I was ever supposed to see. That it was... painful for you. I understand why you wouldn't tell me that so... I'm sorry.
[because he feels like he's invading something deeply personal to leon, even though he never intended to.]
[He doesn't know how to handle this at all. It's a breach of his personal matters, and one that's intensely emotionally charged. He doesn't know how to respond, and he flinches a little when Stahn speaks.
It's all...too much.
He drags in a shaky breath, trying so hard to regain his composure and failing.]
I... don't...act as though there's anything that was your fault about this. It wasn't--by choice for either of us, so it is best that you just leave it be.
... It doesn't matter, regardless. It is in the past.
[this is just one of those things that's tough and emotionally charge for them both, simply thanks to everything that happened.]
Right. I... I won't ask anything else about it. [he mumbles quietly. even though leon is telling him not to apologize, that it doesn't matter, that he should leave it be...
it's hard for stahn.
seeing leon in that situation hurts him and all the same, he feels like he's invaded something so personal even though he's tried so hard to respect leon's boundaries and let him talk about things when he's ready to. it's too much for him too, and that's why he can't seem to even look up.]
I... ["i" what? stahn doesn't even know what to say, but the word is choked out... he feels overwhelmed by this in every single way.]
Seeing Stahn like this is incredibly pitiful, but Leon doesn't know what to do about it. Somehow, after all of that... it doesn't feel right to offer up his hand. Instead, after a long pause, he just sighs and crouches next to Stahn--but just to clean up the french toast he dropped.
But at least this way... he's also closer, and at the same level, even if he's still avoiding Stahn's eyes.]
[stahn remains that way, which... is honestly probably not the best thing when they've got a second animal on the loose that is curiously making its way over. stahn's oblivious to it though, so he honestly doesn't notice when it makes contact with leon, sharing a memory all his own.
it's very depths of mikheil; a place that leon wouldn't recognize. it's lined with escape pods, and at the scene is... well, the entire party, and marian.
they've saved her, and it's a relief, but of course—those words come. "Master Em—Leon... he's not with you?"
there's the incredibly saddened silence that falls over, chelsea's choked back tears and mary telling her to be strong. there's the rest of them, and stahn especially, despite his obvious grief, saying that leon had somewhere else to be, that he couldn't join them. it's an obvious lie, and stahn and rutee seem to be struggling the most, despite the way they smile for marian's sake.
she knows, and it's obvious she knows the truth. leon wouldn't be rejoining them. she cites her worries about his reasons, and rutee insists not to treat him as a dead man. and that question eventually comes: "You're... Stahn, right? Master Leon... he always spoke so fondly of you," stahn's declaration that they're best friends, and followed by her thanking stahn for being such a good friend to him. somehow, through all of that, marian finds a smile and cites that she'll return to that manor to wait for leon, because that's her duty to him.
...the memory is long and drawn out, the entire conversation played for leon's eyes with every last emotion that made that rescue as important as it was. it's a moment that resonates so strongly with stahn, the last he has of their world before cerealia, and the strange moment that was supposed to give him some sort of closure and validation, because he kept his promise to leon.
of course, when it ends, stahn's fingers are digging into the floor tiles, because everything is spinning and though he could probably guess what happened and having it happen the other way, it's... a lot more overwhelming while still dealing with all of the feelings from leon's memory as well.]
Even having realized that memories were being exchanged, Leon couldn't have expected suddenly receiving Stahn's, and Leon's overwhelmed--the view, the sensations, the very image of Marian again...
It makes his heart hurt and his throat close up, even as he's able to see. She asked for him. But she knew. He can see it in her eyes, even as she vows to wait for him, and he wants to ask her why--but this isn't his memory, this is Stahn's, and he can see how distressed everyone is by it, even if he doesn't understand (why would they be so upset over this? He's grateful they tried to comfort her, but why?) and...
When he comes out of it, he can see that Stahn doesn't look so good, but...he's not capable of doing anything right now. He's crouched there on the floor instead, fists clenched so tightly his knuckles are white, and despite himself... his eyes are wet.
He never thought he'd be able to see Marian ever again. But seeing her like that?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
action; like the very first day of the memshare event tbh
It's one of those rare days when they both have the day off and neither of them has to be anywhere; because of that, Leon makes breakfast. Stahn's appetite is enormous even when Leon's isn't, and honestly? Leon wouldn't mind a good breakfast either.
So his focus is on the french toast he's making (promised to be a relatively sweet breakfast, which he considers perfectly acceptable), ignoring the cat for now.]
we are 100% on time
naturally, he's not thinking much of anything when he shuffles out of the room and into the kitchen with eyes barely open, hair disheveled, and donning only a pair of sweatpants.]
Mm... smells good... [he says tiredly, letting out a loud yawn. oops.]
oh totally
Sit. It is nearly finished and I--
[.. Pause.
Consider.
Backtrack.
Wait.]
... What do you think you're doing? Put a shirt on!
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[stahn is staring blearily at leon now, as if he's completely not processing anything leon is saying.]
It's too early to get upset... [what is leon even upset about. why is he yelling and balking?
stahn doesn't know even though leon just said it. he yawns again, scratching his stomach (+ABS) as he heads to the table.
or maybe to the coffee pot.
right, coffee, maybe he should go in that direction first.]
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I told you already to put a shirt on! Are you some sort of degenerate?
[WERE YOU RAISED IN A BARN. Leon's just pointing the spatula at Stahn accusingly now.]
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A what? [what is leon even calling him right now.] Can't we eat first...
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[This is going nowhere fast.
Thankfully (???) that's when Leon's angry cat gets tired of the fuss and muss and flings itself away as cats tend to do--straight through Stahn. There's nothing it does...aside from the memory, which Stahn will now have the pleasure of experiencing for himself.
The dubious pleasure, anyway.
Leon entering the manor isn't a strange image in the least, but the level of peace and relaxed nature to his posture is definitely something a little different from normal--especially from how he's been lately. But nonetheless, that's how he is; he looks content, which is absolutely not meant to last. Because it doesn't take him long to realize that it's too quiet, and that someone is missing.
Aside from a tentative, "Marian?" though, he stays calm enough, wandering through, looking for her--so it's probably not a surprise that when he enters his room, and encounters black robed figures instead, his first move is to draw Chaltier, eyes narrowing but still not particularly panicked. Even if they had invaded his home, he still seemed confident enough... until Hugo speaks, and it's clear it's him. It's obvious from the look on Leon's face as well, from the way he puts away Chaltier immediately, blinking.
Which is a mistake, really.
It's Stahn's chance to see now how it all began, how the downward spiral began, but the most significant part of all is that when Hugo demands that Leon help him--
Immediately, Leon scoffs, his typical belligerence coming into play with a simple, straightforward, and clear, "I refuse."
And even after Hugo reacts with violence, even as Leon hits the door and then picks himself up off the floor, wiping at his mouth with a sleeve, expression closed off and bitter, his response is the same, an unshakeable, "I refuse."
It's only when Marian enters the conversation, when Hugo makes it clear that she's his hostage, and that Leon's only got one choice unless he'd like to see her dead that the panic finally shows on his face, and it's obvious immediately that he was utterly lost in that moment--
And then back in their living room, the french toast hits the floor. Not because Leon saw the memory too (he didn't), but because the sudden vertigo and nausea struck at the worst time, and Leon has to grasp for the counter with both hands, paling and queasy-looking.
What a wake up call.]
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innocuous enough (if not weirdly invasive) but leon looking for marian isn't strange, right? but then he sees the darkened bedroom and the black cloaks, and stahn is even more frozen than before. those cloaks. they were the ones the oberon managers wore to conceal their identities. leon making that refusal...
and the way hugo hits him. the way he mentions marian—stahn knows what's happening here. he realizes it, he knows that leon was refusing to betray them, and hugo took measure to ensure his compliance by putting marian's safety on the line.
when the memory fades out, stahn is shaking too, and his eyes are filled with tears. he knows; he knows that was the moment that changed leon's fate. he knows that was when leon ultimately decided to betray seinegald and them, when he decided not to rely on his friends for the sake of trying to save marian himself.]
Le... Leo... [he can barely choke out leon's name. he's too stunned and upset by the weight of that memory. why? why was he seeing that? why... that was leon's memory and...
—it takes him a solid minute to realize that leon himself is unsteady, but as he realizes that, he's rushing to leon's side—probabl a bad thing to do when there's a plate on the floor and french toast there with it, but he doesn't pay a shred of attention to what he's stepping in.]
Leon!! Are you okay?! Leon... [it probably doesn't help that the wash of emotions over him is influencing this, but his heart feels like it's in his stomach, and yet his stomach feels like it's in his throat. trying to ask if leon's okay when he's a mess himself is probably not the best way to approach this but what can he do? leon looks like he's about to collapse.
...though stahn is trembling when he reaches out for leon's arm.
this is all bad news, he's not even paying attention to boundaries because he's so worried and overcome all in the same breath.]
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But Leon is still clutching to the counter, shaking his head and swallowing, trying so hard to try to get his protesting stomach under control and shaking away the vertigo. It's difficult, though; it doesn't want to go away, and Leon doesn't even know where it's coming from.
He does look up blearily when Stahn grabs his arm, but he doesn't understand where the panic comes from. Sure, he's feeling a little shaky, but that's not reason enough for Stahn to look so... distraught.
He swallows again, fighting back the nausea.]
What? What is it?
[WHAT'S WRONG....]
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[stahn only asks that again, because he's still not sure how to process what he just saw. he has no idea what's going on, or why leon looks so sick and pale...
didn't he see it? whatever stahn just saw—that memory. he's only slightly less frantic because leon responds close to how he normally would but... stahn is shaken, and visibly so. he looks and feels distraught having witnessed that and he just...
doesn't really know what to do, honestly. his hand is still trembling—maybe it won't be so surprising when he actually reveals that he witnessed such a sad, pivotal moment.]
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[That answer is snapped out immediately, even if really, he's not; he's still unsteady on his feet, swaying a little, and it's a little tough for him to focus.
But... at the very least, he remains upright and straight through sheer willpower, and he...doesn't really understand why Stahn is so distressed even now. He hasn't encountered the memories enough to have made a connection, since this is the very first time...]
... What is wrong with you? You are standing there with an idiotic slackjawed expression.
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You...
Didn't—didn't you see it?
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[That...should make it clear enough.
He didn't see it.
He's totally oblivious.]
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[yep, he sure is having a hard time using his words right now. his hand will finally drop from leon's arm, but he doesn't move otherwise.]
I saw... It was your room, in Seinegald. Hugo, and the others... Baruk, Rembrandt... Ilene...
[it's hard for stahn to speak, because it honestly chokes him up to even think about.] He—you, and then you, and then Marian...
[there are just so many words he can't say. he can't say that leon was hit to brutally for leon for himself. he can't say how fiercely he say leon refusing to betray them. he can't say how they held marian over his head until he conceded.
he can't do it, but even recalling it makes stahn feel weak enough to crouch down while he catches his breath. he has no idea why he saw any of that, but he's not okay with it in the least.]
It... it was a memory, wasn't it?
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As Stahn speaks, there's a cold dread that sweeps over Leon. There's no way Stahn could have known about any of that--not unless he'd really seen it himself. Stahn...how did that...
He stares at him, and suddenly, he feels the almost pathetic need to flee.]
I... you--
[...]
How?
[Yes.
It's a memory, and Leon can't even deny it.]
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hearing leon respond like that only confirms what he's been thinking—it's a memory. it's leon's memory, and it's something that stahn is being forced to see even though he was clearly never meant to know of it.
it's invasive. it's so invasive, because as much as he wants leon to be open and honest with him, he would never force out painful memories, especially not ones that had to do with marian or what he did back then. he doesn't want to pry into leon's memories this way.
they hurt.
they hurt stahn too, because they remind him so much of how he couldn't help, and how leon didn't rely on them until it was too late.]
I don't.... I don't know. [he chokes out the words, shaking his head and squeezing his eyes closed. he doesn't know how or why he saw it, but he did. he should apologize, but it's hard to say anything at all.]
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Stahn didn't try to pry open his memories. Stahn wouldn't do that. It was invasive for both of them, and Leon... Leon knows exactly what Stahn saw.
He glances away, and he can't help but feel a little sick to his stomach and guilty. It was better when Stahn knew nothing of the situation. But seeing him like that... his tone is dull, and flat.]
... I suppose you have seen how pathetic I was, then.
[When it came down to it.
That's what it all was. He was pathetic, and he couldn't do a damn thing.]
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[that's not what stahn thinks at all. if anything, it's should be clear enough that stahn is hurting just from seeing it; he still hasn't found it in him to stand or even try to look up at leon. his eyes are trained on the floor, and after a moment, he'll go from crouching to completely on his knees.]
I don't think that at all. I... I would never think that.
[and after a brief pause, he says much more quietly (and with much less steady a voice):] I'm sorry.
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[Don't apologize. Don't look so broken up over it like that. Don't... because Leon doesn't know how to handle it either. He's doing his best here, but he's off-balanced and upset too, and he has to look away.
Ah... the stove is still on.
Vaguely, fumblingly, he moves to turn it off.]
What you saw... clearly you saw what happened. In that case, there's no denying it. [He was pathetic.]
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[he doesn't care if leon isn't looking for apologies, because this still needs to be said, however hard it is for stahn to get these words out without losing his composure over it.]
I know it's not something I was ever supposed to see. That it was... painful for you. I understand why you wouldn't tell me that so... I'm sorry.
[because he feels like he's invading something deeply personal to leon, even though he never intended to.]
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It's all...too much.
He drags in a shaky breath, trying so hard to regain his composure and failing.]
I... don't...act as though there's anything that was your fault about this. It wasn't--by choice for either of us, so it is best that you just leave it be.
... It doesn't matter, regardless. It is in the past.
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Right. I... I won't ask anything else about it. [he mumbles quietly. even though leon is telling him not to apologize, that it doesn't matter, that he should leave it be...
it's hard for stahn.
seeing leon in that situation hurts him and all the same, he feels like he's invaded something so personal even though he's tried so hard to respect leon's boundaries and let him talk about things when he's ready to. it's too much for him too, and that's why he can't seem to even look up.]
I... ["i" what? stahn doesn't even know what to say, but the word is choked out... he feels overwhelmed by this in every single way.]
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Seeing Stahn like this is incredibly pitiful, but Leon doesn't know what to do about it. Somehow, after all of that... it doesn't feel right to offer up his hand. Instead, after a long pause, he just sighs and crouches next to Stahn--but just to clean up the french toast he dropped.
But at least this way... he's also closer, and at the same level, even if he's still avoiding Stahn's eyes.]
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it's very depths of mikheil; a place that leon wouldn't recognize. it's lined with escape pods, and at the scene is... well, the entire party, and marian.
they've saved her, and it's a relief, but of course—those words come. "Master Em—Leon... he's not with you?"
there's the incredibly saddened silence that falls over, chelsea's choked back tears and mary telling her to be strong. there's the rest of them, and stahn especially, despite his obvious grief, saying that leon had somewhere else to be, that he couldn't join them. it's an obvious lie, and stahn and rutee seem to be struggling the most, despite the way they smile for marian's sake.
she knows, and it's obvious she knows the truth. leon wouldn't be rejoining them. she cites her worries about his reasons, and rutee insists not to treat him as a dead man. and that question eventually comes: "You're... Stahn, right? Master Leon... he always spoke so fondly of you," stahn's declaration that they're best friends, and followed by her thanking stahn for being such a good friend to him. somehow, through all of that, marian finds a smile and cites that she'll return to that manor to wait for leon, because that's her duty to him.
...the memory is long and drawn out, the entire conversation played for leon's eyes with every last emotion that made that rescue as important as it was. it's a moment that resonates so strongly with stahn, the last he has of their world before cerealia, and the strange moment that was supposed to give him some sort of closure and validation, because he kept his promise to leon.
of course, when it ends, stahn's fingers are digging into the floor tiles, because everything is spinning and though he could probably guess what happened and having it happen the other way, it's... a lot more overwhelming while still dealing with all of the feelings from leon's memory as well.]
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Even having realized that memories were being exchanged, Leon couldn't have expected suddenly receiving Stahn's, and Leon's overwhelmed--the view, the sensations, the very image of Marian again...
It makes his heart hurt and his throat close up, even as he's able to see. She asked for him. But she knew. He can see it in her eyes, even as she vows to wait for him, and he wants to ask her why--but this isn't his memory, this is Stahn's, and he can see how distressed everyone is by it, even if he doesn't understand (why would they be so upset over this? He's grateful they tried to comfort her, but why?) and...
When he comes out of it, he can see that Stahn doesn't look so good, but...he's not capable of doing anything right now. He's crouched there on the floor instead, fists clenched so tightly his knuckles are white, and despite himself... his eyes are wet.
He never thought he'd be able to see Marian ever again. But seeing her like that?
It's almost worst.]
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